Parallel
by Aphina
Summary: A series of oneshots from 'The Long Way Home' - scenes that never made the cut.
1. Chapter 1: Intentions

_**This was set after Cass and John's first make out session on the couch in the lounge.**_

Chapter One: Intentions

It was lunch time and John liked lunch, it was his favourite meal of the day because they were serving turkey sandwiches. He was a man of simple pleasures and a nice turkey club sandwich was one of them. That and the mug of coffee that was lodged in the cup compartment of his tray next to his peach fruit pot.

"What did you do to her?" Carson Beckett's broad Scottish accent rang in his ears as he slipped into the seat across from John, banging his tray down.

"What did I do to who?" John requested, setting his turkey club down and brushing the crumbs from his hands as he met the other man's gaze.

"To Cass." Carson erupted.

"I'm pretty sure I didn't do anything to her." John contemplated the meaning behind his words as he sipped from his coffee cup.

To tell the truth he had been surprised as hell when he had woken up on the couch alone this morning, his joints aching in God knows how many places with the blanket placed neatly over him. Admittedly he was more used to doing the whole creeping out in the early hours of the morning thing, funny he had never realized how annoying that actually was before now.

"You bloody well did something. She's in the infirmary smiling and humming..."

"Isn't that a good thing?" John asked Carson setting his coffee mug down. "A good night's sleep can work wonders on a tired mind."

"You don't get it. She's never been like this before." Carson informed the other man. "She seems happy."

"See now that's good." John said, reaching for his fruit cup.

"I want to know your intentions." Carson demanded as John stabbed a diced peace in his fruit cup.

"My what now?" John responded, almost choking on the plastic fork in his mouth.

"Intentions." Carson clarified.

"What intentions?" John informed the other man. "I don't have intentions. I was just helping out a friend, why is that such a big deal?"

Carson looked pointedly at John tapping his fingers on the surface of the table impatiently. John drained the juice from his fruit cup before tossing it back onto the table. Carson was still starring at him, he felt like he was a teenager all over again getting 'the talk' from someone's older brother.

"Why are you acting like her father anyway?" He asked Carson, looking at the other man over the rim of his coffee mug. "Last time I checked she was grown woman capable of making her own decisions."

"Look Cass is very dear to me and if you do anything to harm her I will make sure that the next visit you make to my infirmary will be an unpleasant one." Carson warned John.

From the intense look in his eyes he could tell the bearded Scot meant what he said. His thoughts on Carson Beckett were changing dramatically. He could see the man had a flair for the dramatic when the people he cared about were threatened but then again he did what was necessary. Carson had an excellent protective instinct which was something John understood. Carson sensed vulnerabilities in people and he shielded them from it, it was an admirable trait.

"Let me lay this out for you Doc." John said giving his full attention to Carson, which in turn the other man found slightly intimidating. "I promise I have no evil designs on your protégée. She needed to relax so I helped her that was all, we watched a game, she fell asleep and oh she kicked me. That was all that happened."

"She kicked you?" Carson repeated.

"Sorta." John disclosed with a shrug of his shoulders before clasping his fingers together and reviewing the other man. "Now what I am more interested to hear about is what we know about her."

Carson leaned back feeling more relaxed at the situation. He had heard good things about Major John Sheppard, he was courageous, light hearted and smart yet there had never been the mention of a woman in his life. Nobody knew what he was leaving behind back on earth, he had rarely heard the Major or anyone around him talk about his private life. What he could tell was that the other man seemed to care about Cass and her well-being, he couldn't fault him for that.

Yet Carson could question his motives and he wouldn't be an influential part in whatever was stirring between the two people. Cass was a grown up, she had to make her own mistakes, if he had to pick up the pieces then so be it.

Carson picked up his apple from the lunch tray before pointing his finger at John as he spoke.

"She's your puzzle Major, you figure her out."


	2. Chapter 2: 38 Minutes

Chapter Two: 38 Minutes

**AN: This was the way that 38 Minutes could have gone!**

The mission had been a disaster from the very beginning from what Cass had heard in the aftermath of the event. Everything that could have possibility have gone wrong and occurred. The only real saving grace was Rodney McKay's stunning ability to work quickly under high pressure situations and the fact that the members of Major John Sheppard's team were a band of quick thinking, proactive people otherwise John may not have made it.

_It had been the expression on Carson's homely features that had chilled Cass down to her core upon entering the Gate Room. Helplessness was not an emotion she was used to seeing upon his face but it was there, shown by tightly knit eyebrows and parted lips. He was out of his depth and that scared the hell out of Cass in more ways than she could imagine._

"_Where's the patient?" Cass said eyeing the open Stargate with confusion before frowning at Carson._

"_Still on board the jumper which is currently wedged inside the Stargate." Carson said already tearing open a basic ops kit and stacking the objects across the table._

"_Should I go through?" Cass asked gesturing towards the gate._

"_No Cass, they're stuck. Anyone that goes through from this side will be stuck in the Horizon." Elizabeth explained patiently. "We have a team of scientists working on that problem at the minute, it's the other one you and Doctor Beckett need to work on. We only have thirty minutes."_

"_And then what happens?" she questioned._

"_The ship gets cut in half and they float out into the atmosphere." Elizabeth Weir informed them. "We've got scientists working on that. It's the other problem we need help with. We're patching you and Doctor Beckett through to the Jumper, see if there's anything you can do from this end to help the Major."_

As explained over the communicator by Lieutenant Ford, a huge beetle like bug, approximately two foot in length and had attached itself near John's carotid artery and was refusing to let go. John's condition had been severely deteriorating, his list of symptoms growing worse as the minutes progressed. After the initial debilitating flood of agony John had discovered he wasn't able to move his lower extremities and as time went by his hands had gone completely numb and it was spreading rapidly up past his wrists.

Lieutenant Ford relayed that they had tried everything to remove the bug from the base of John's throat, from cutting it off to shooting at it and eventually burning. The only thing they'd managed to do was piss the bug off into tightening it's strangle hold on his airways.

Teyla had described the creature as Wraith like in terms of the way it was feeding from John's life force. Cass and Carson had spent their share of the thirty eight minutes conversing with Lieutenant Ford and Teyla while they tried out various components from their field kits on the fleshy underbelly of the bug to hopefully remove or at least provide some sort of relief to John. Instead it had only caused the bug to drive it's pincers even further into his tender skin.

Hearing John's anguished scream echoing over the speakers was enough to steal her breath. She could feel every single inch of his trauma as it tore through her soul, snapping at her heartstrings. God she'd known what he was feeling was terrible and that he thought he'd be better off dead than having his life sucked right out of him like this and in the end it had been that knowledge that had given her the idea in the first place.

The Jumper had a portable defibrillator. Since the bug was like a Wraith, logic stated that the bug should stop feeding if John was no longer alive. One shock from the defibrillator should stop his heart. After that they had four minutes to get the bug off and then revive him, any longer and he would start to lose brain function.

Adding to the technical side of the problem, they only had seven minutes left until the Stargate powered down and McKay had still hadn't been able to fix the Jumper. Even if they did save John they were as good as dead if they hadn't been able to get through that Stargate. For the three minutes it would take for John to die they had to take a desperate measure. As soon as the first shock failed to revive him Teyla had dragged John straight into the Event Horizon in a bid to place him in suspended animation. If McKay managed to get the Jumper through the gate they had three minutes to restart his heart.

In the end Cass thanked God that Rodney McKay was every bit the genius that he claimed to be. The minute that Jumper had appeared through the Stargate, her, Carson and their medical teams had been rushing in to assist Sheppard's team.

John's life had been in her hands literally as she pressed the electric paddles from the defibrillator to his perfectly sculptured chest. His body bucked as the current passed through his heart. His head lolled to the right as Carson's fingers sought out John's pulse before he shook his head.

"John." Her voice was stern as the two of them stood on the edge of oblivion as she replayed the conversation from before.

"_You'll bring me back right Doc?" he had asked her privately over the joint comm system._

_Both of Cass's palms were resting on the control panel, her dark fringe falling over her eyes as she listened to the sound of Carson instructing Lieutenant Ford on how to use the defibrillator on a separate communication line. _

_There was trust in John's voice as he spoke, it was a deep, understated, knowing that touched her. John didn't believe that she would let him go, Cass would always find a way to bring him back to her. His life was hers and at that moment Cass felt a savage, possessiveness claim her. Even in the constraints of this situation he was tugging at her resistance to his charms. _

"_If Lieutenant Ford can't bring you back, I'll be the first thing you see." Cass promised him fiercely._

The moment Cass pressed the panels to his chest she knew she'd won. She could already feel the life flooding back into their connection as the electric current passed through his heart jump starting it once more. The gasp of breath tearing from his lips had rattled through the overbearing silence of the Gate Room as Carson sprung immediately into action in order to stabilise the Major's condition.

* * *

><p>That had been over four hours ago and now John was sleeping peacefully in the infirmary under her watchful gaze. He had woken briefly after his ordeal according to Carson and stayed awake long enough to assure his friends that he was fine before drifting off again. The Wraith-like bug creature had taken a lot out of him, he was rejuvenating the energy it had stolen from his body. Cass had sent Carson to bed so she could cover the night shift. The man had been working over twelve hours straight. It would be a lie if she didn't admit that her intentions were somewhat selfish. This was a time she could spend with him unobserved and alone. The urge to protect him was so overwhelming it made her want to laugh out loud. She had never associated vulnerability with John Sheppard but while she sat in the chair beside his bed and watched him sleep she could see through all the barriers.<p>

She was treading dangerously, she thought. She shouldn't be so wrapped up in this man, so concerned for him. He was a patient, a colleague, at most maybe a friend and here she was sitting vigil by his bed side like a wife or a lover. The thought made her cringe inside. She had almost been someone's wife once and for the last two years she had not dared allow herself to take a lover.

Sometimes when John looked at her his forest green eyes smouldered, she could see his thoughts like they were written before her. She wanted him, God she wanted him so badly her skin flushed at the thought of his skilled, rough hands and hot, exploratory mouth touching and tasting her. She wondered what his firm muscles would feel like under her hands as she ran them down that finely muscled chest.

Cass could never have him, she could never invest herself so much in someone ever again and in a way that shamed her. All of her had never been good enough for that other man, how could she expect someone else to love her?

The truth was she couldn't, relationships were full of expectations and visions of the future and her life was so adamantly stuck in the present it was impossible to offer anyone anything more. Of all the people she met John was more deserving of happiness than anyone. He was bold and courageous, his loyalty knew no bounds. He had his faults, already she had learned he was rash and impulsive.


	3. Chapter 3: Hide and Seek

Chapter Three: Hide and Seek

**AN: This was an alternative possibility for Cass dealing with Ford**

It was the scream that rattled Cass's nerves. It was the one thing that she had never got used to during her life as field medic. It was hard enough to block the sound out when she was working on someone, worse when it was someone she had started to grow attached to.

Lieutenant Aiden Ford was writhing underneath her hands and he was literally steaming. Patches of his face and chest were sporting what appeared to be third degree burns as trembled and jerked at the agony of the trauma. Jesus, she'd only seen this kind of damage in people who had been struck by lightning.

His nerves must have been fried from the charge the black, creeping, shadow had ploughed through his body which was where all the pain was coming from. The stench of scorched hair was in the air amount with a meatier smell which she knew was coming from Aiden. She was surprised the God damn thing Shadow Thing hadn't fried his insides.

"Aiden, it's ok." Cass soothed as she struggled to slide down the zipper of the protective vest he was wearing. "I'm here to help Aiden, I need you to close your eyes and just focus on breathing for a moment can you do that for me?"

Aiden's dark eyes fastened on hers and stared back letting him see that she was here to take care of him. The initial shock of being blasted by the Shadow thing was wearing off and Cass knew that was a good sign. Aiden's eyes became hooded, his pupils contracting as he sucked in a deep breath through his mouth, slowly followed by another and then another.

"That's good." she approved. "Just keep breathing like that."

Cass turned her head away for a second grasping the handful of sterilised pads from Sergeant Stackhouse's hands before touching the comm linked to her ear and speaking.

"This is Doctor Pierce with Lieutenant Ford and Sergeant Stackhouse. I need a Trauma Bay prepared in the infirmary immediately and a nerve scanner."

Cass was working meticulously as she spoke, the scissors were in her hands as she cut away the fleece that had insulated the majority of Aiden's upper body. His flesh was sticking to the material like taffy as she tried to remove it as gently as possible. His violent roar of agony tore through her as the skin came away still attached to the fleece.

"Shit." she muttered into the comm as Beckett responded.

"We've got a team coming to you Doctor Pierce, what's the patient's status?"

"Ford's stable but critical." Cass spoke calmly as she pressed a sterilised pad to to the charred, raw wound and used the medical tape to hold it in place. "It looks like he was electrocuted, third degree burns all over his neck and chest where the fleece appears to have fused with his skin. He's going to need sedatives when we take this fleece off him, I can't do any more without causing some real damage."

"Medical Team are two minutes out, we'll be waiting in Trauma Bay one on your arrival. Beckett out."

"Sergeant, I need you to go wait at that corner down there and check that the route is safe for the Medical Team, in case that thing decides to double back on us." Cass ordered, trying to grant the other man and herself a tiny piece of mind.

Stackhouse obeyed without another word as she reached out to Aiden and clasped his hand lightly in hers.

"It's just a few more minutes and then we'll get you something for that pain." Cass said kindly as Aiden squeezed her hand against the ferocious hurt she knew had to be surging through his body. "I promise Aiden, you just have to hold on a few more minutes."


	4. Chapter 4: Sanctuary

Chapter Four: Sanctuary

**AN: This is the otherway Sanctuary could have been written.**

Cass had never experienced jealousy before. Not even when her ex fiancé had invited her to his wedding six months after the demise of their own relationship. Never had she felt this maddening, destructive force writhing around inside her but when it came to John Sheppard all bets were off the table.

"Your scowling." Rodney commented as she watched John escort the exquisite young woman around the city of Atlantis.

She didn't like this, she didn't like feeling this way but Cass could tell that John found the other woman attractive and compelling. Chaya had his complete attention and Cass couldn't help but find that dismaying. She had never seen this before and she disliked it. Whenever a woman responded in such a manner towards John he was quick to shirk it but in this case he wasn't. She didn't enjoy the little touches and the laughter between the two of them as they stood on the balcony absorbing the fresh sea air. It was too intimate and personal.

"If I helps I don't like her much either." Rodney told Cass as she crossed her arms over her chest and watched the two of them smiling at each other.

"That's because of her religious views." Cass murmured, rubbing the back of her neck with irritation.

"And the fact she's perfect, there's such a thing as being too perfect." Rodney reminded her with a frown as he studied the couple before them.

"Your suspicious of her?" Cass remarked with interest.

"Aren't you?" he countered with the quirk of an eyebrow.

Cass bowed her head, her lips pursed tightly together as she clasped her hands in front of her. There was a guilt inside of her over this, John would never do anything to hurt her. Cass knew that but it didn't help the way that she felt right now.

"For an entirely different reason I suspect." she found herself murmuring as shame flushed pink across her features.

"You can't seriously be jealous of her." Rodney asked incredulously. "I mean your you and she's some yoga loving alien."

"She's new and she's very pretty." Cass stated in a desolate voice. "And whatever she's saying seems very interesting."

"He's trying to secure a treaty with a foreign diplomat." Rodney snorted with indignation. "Of course he's going to find everything she says interesting."

"She likes him." Cass stated honestly.

She could tell from the other woman's body language. Chaya was constantly touching John, always laying a hand on his arm and making eye contact. She had noticed the way the two of them seemed to slot together from the moment he had brought her back to this base.

"A lot of women do, that's never bothered you before." Rodney pointed out, tilting his head towards his friend as she sighed out loud.

"I'm being dumb, I know that." Cass said raising her eyes skyward and mentally slapping herself for being a complete idiot. "Right I am going back to work before I drive myself literally insane with this."

"Ohhh I'll come with, see if her scans are back yet." Rodney added cheerfully before the two of them turned their backs on the talkative couple.


	5. Chapter 5: Letters From Pegasus

Letter From Pegasus

The video camera was focused on Cass's face as she sat in the conference room, her palms pressed together between her knees. She was nervous, she had no reason to be but anxiety was eating up at her insides as she crossed her ankles underneath the seat.

"There's no reason to be nervous Doc." Ford told her from his position behind the video camera.

"That's easy for you to say." Cass remarked dryly shifting in her seat.

The last time she had been in front of a video camera like this didn't bear thinking about. Cass exhaled deeply before fixing a smile upon her weary features. Ford held up his hand in order to show he was recording.

"Hey Jules, it's me Cassie..." she trailed off, her cheeks flushing as she shook her head. "Of course you know that, you can see me."

Cass clasped her hands together before setting them in her lap portraying a sheen of calm.

"So much has happened since I've been here, it's hard to explain but the important thing is I miss you. I miss you and Michael, Annabel and Nicky so very much and I want you all to know that I think about you every day." Cass told the camera as her eyes brimmed.

She used her thumb to wipe away the glistening tears that lined her sapphire eyes as she rolled her eyes skyward and laughed.

"I am happy here." she said addressing the camera. "All you ever wanted was for me to be happy and I am. I work with some wonderful people and you would love them. Everybody here is amazing, they're so caring and resourceful and we watch out for each other."

Cass rubbed her hands together before smiling.

"I met someone Jules, I met this courageous, fascinating man and he saved me from myself." Cass grinned up at the camera. "We're getting married. I'm sorry you can't be here to see that. Maybe we can have a ceremony when I get home and you can meet him."

Cass stared back at at the camera ignoring Ford's stunned expression.

"I guess this is goodbye for now." Cass murmured as she blew a kiss at the camera. "I love you guys."

"Is it true?" Ford asked her. "What you said about you and the Major?"

Cass nodded.

"The Athosians have a bonding ceremony that's kind of like a wedding and we want you to be there." Cass told him. "He was going to ask you himself but he's a little busy off world."

"Well that's great." Ford said enfolding her in a hug. "The two of you deserve this."


	6. Chapter 6: Epiphany

**AN: This just gives a little perspective into a conversation with John and his father. This was set immediately after his return to Earth.**

Epiphany

The house where John had grown up in was still exactly the same as it had always been over the years. In the past he had found the house large and foreboding, every time he had forced himself to visit it had been a torrid nightmare full of cold words and awkward silences. Now it was different, ever since he had made up with his father the house was welcoming and reminded him of the good times during his childhood, the ones before his mother had died when his father had been warm and loving.

That man was back again. These days his father was kind and considerate, he had more time for John now than he had ever had as a child. It was good to have Patrick back in his life, his father had been a crucial missing piece of John and he was glad to have the other man back with him.

Cass had given him that, just like she had given him so many other things. The woman that he had married was healing him in ways that he had never considered possible. John had never realised how fractured he was before he fell in love with Cassandra.

The expression on his father's face at the sight of him at the front door was so ridiculously joyous . Patrick Sheppard's weathered face creased into a grin as John stepped forward and gathered his father into a hug. The older man squeezed his son contently before gesturing for him to enter the house.

"It's good to see you son." his father said clasping his shoulder tightly as the two of them entered the lounge area.

"Good to see you too Pops." John grinned before taking a seat upon the couch. "Cass tells me you've been teaching her how to ride."

"Starbuck likes her, she's not a natural rider but she is patient." Patrick told his son happily as his memories flitted back to the past few months he had spent with his daughter in law.

Cass was easy going and smart. His son's wife was like the daughter that he had never had and he enjoyed spending time with her. Cassandra was also his only connection to John while he was away, being around her and hearing her stories about his son made him feel like he was a bigger part of John's life. Their earlier years had been rocky at best but now the relationship between the two of them was better than ever.

John had rang him the night before so the two of them could catch up and chat. John had wanted the scoop on both David and Cassandra, his father was an honest man and he had a way of seeing through the veils that other people cast before their faces. So when Patrick Sheppard told John that his wife was recovering, he believed it with all of his heart. His father's traits had been passed down to himself and when he looked into the other man's eyes he knew that his father would never tell him a lie.

"How long are you staying?" Patrick queried his son before he took his own seat across from John.

"A few weeks, maybe a month. It depends on how well they think Cass has healed. I'll be returning when she does." John informed Patrick rubbing his hands together in anxiety.

"Your worried about her?" Patrick questioned, his hazel eyes crinkling in the corners as he reviewed his son.

John ran his hands through his untidy dark hair before letting out a long, stringent sigh. There was so many doubts rushing through his mind, the fear made his stomach clench and his heart accelerate. Some of his best memories were of his times of Atlantis and when he thought about it so were some of his worst. There would always be danger, everywhere they turned there would be risk and they would walk straight into it. It was in their nature, a part of who they were and John would never try to change that. Still it worried him, it would always worry him but it was something that he accepted.

"I just want her to be happy and safe." he conceded quietly. "Being away from her was hard and knowing what she was going through and that she needed my support and that I couldn't be there..."

There was shame in John's voice. Patrick could feel the guilt throbbing through his son as he sat before him, raking his hands through his hair once more. It was clear where this was heading and in a way Patrick applauded his son for taking his wife into consideration when it came to making such a huge decision.

"Your contract with the military is up this year." Patrick stated as if he was reading his son's thoughts. "And your trying to decide whether to renew it or not."

"I never would have considered otherwise before meeting Cass but now..." John paused as he shook his head. "She has been through so much, she deserves someone who can be there when she needs it, not when time allows."

Patrick leaned forward in his seat, his elbows resting upon his knees as he met his son's woeful and indecisive gaze. He understood these desires better than most, when his work had taken him away from his wife he questioned his dedication not only to his job but also to his marriage. John was in the same boat now, there came a point when you had to decide where your priorities lay and what your expectations were.

"She wants to go back." John confessed with the shake of his head. "There's a lot of danger where we're stationed and she's had more than her fair share of trouble. There is always going to be that element in our lives, she walks into war zones as easily as I do."

"You married someone exactly like you." Patrick stated knowingly. "And you don't like the worry it causes."

"We've had this conversation before, me and her, when it looked like all of us weren't going to survive..." John rubbed his hands over his weary features. "I can't live without her Pops, she's my world and I know where we're based feels like home to her."

"Your damned if you do and your damned if you don't." Patrick said, depicting both sides of the coin.

The answer was like a proverb that was constantly alluding John Sheppard. What was the right balance? He could never be the perfect husband and he knew that his wife accepted all of his faults but Cassandra was one of his responsibilities. He had a duty to her to keep her happy and safe, unfortunately the two didn't seem to be mutually exclusive. Now that she had made her decision to return to Atlantis he knew there was nothing short of pulling the husband card that he could do to make her stay. It would be unfair to do that to Cass but he would if he had to.

There was a moment where he was torn between two worlds. He could be incredibly selfish or he could be selfless. John Sheppard was used to being the latter. He had given up so much of himself over the years for Atlantis. It was a wonder that he was still walking around living and breathing.

If he was selfless he would give up he would leave the military and everything he had ever known to retire here on Earth. Him and Cass would get a little house somewhere in New York state or in Boston so they could be close to their family. She would go to work in an Emergency Room or wherever else she desired and he could become a cop or a consultant.

Too bad John Sheppard had had enough of being selfless, when it came to his wife he craved the contentment they had felt back home on Atlantis. Even if they did return to Earth Cass would never be happy with normalcy, not yet anyway. He could feel her emotions over their bond whenever she thought about the possibility of Earth. There was something missing in their lives and they were both confused as to what it was. Everything was complete and whole in relation to each other, their relationship was good and solid yet there was still something that should be there.

Cass had already lost so much, John could not take anything else away from her. If she was happy on Atlantis he would comply with that. He would do anything to see that smile on her pretty features.

"You look like you've just had an epiphany." Patrick remarked as he came to leaned back in is chair, his hands clasped together on his lap.

John frowned at the turn his own thoughts were taking as he glanced up at his father.

"Yea, I think I have."


	7. Chapter 7: Don't Ask, Don't Tell

Chapter Seven: Don't Ask, Don't Tell

**AN: When I was first contemplating Lorne's sexuality, there were a few things I was trying on for size ad the possibility of him being a victim of domestic abuse was one of them. Here's the chapter that was written before I changed my mind. **

There was something going on with Major Evan Lorne, Carson Beckett wasn't sure what it was but he could sense it beneath the surface as he checked the other man's blood pressure. There was tension set in the other man's hunched shoulders as he sat rigid and still. He looked like a man consumed by his troubles and that made Carson curious. He had always liked Lorne, the other man was kind and there was a gentleness deep inside that was rarely exhibited. Men like him and Sheppard were always in control, they were calm strategists and eager planners. They were cool under pressure and he had never seen a poker face quite like his.

"Is everything ok Major?" Carson asked as he reviewed the band around the other man's bicept. "Your blood pressure seems to be a little high."

"Yes." Lorne responded in a frosty voice.

Carson recognized that tone. He had heard it in many military men before and he had no doubt he would hear it in the future. There was a secret bubbling underneath the surface and for some reason it intrigued Carson Beckett, the same way the bruises that marred the other man's torso, wrists and legs did. Lorne had always said that it was from sparring when Carson had come across them during routine health checks but it was happening often and the injuries were always in areas that could not be seen underneath the uniform.

Carson sighed out loud as he situated himself against the table across from Lorne, his arms crossed over chest as he surveyed the other man. Lorne turned his face away from the doctor's analytical gaze. He could feel Beckett's eyes roving all over him and it made him want to shy away from the other man's stare. In the most dire of situations he could stare down any nemesis without fear or humiliation but when he looked at Beckett, he could feel the shame flushing through his chiselled features.

He didn't know what the other man thought of him and it was horrifying to think that after all this time of keeping his sexuality a secret that there was a possibility of being exposed. If the truth behind what was happening to him came out then it would start a chain reaction in which Evan would have no control over and he despised the implications of his private life being aired out in the open.

The military had always had a firm 'don't ask, don't tell' policy and that was fine with Evan so long as he suffered no repercussions. He had found others like him over the years, soldiers who were hiding what they were under the banter between their team mates. He had fucked a few of the guys he knew from that circle but there had never been more than an instinctive chemistry between him and any of those guys. That was until he'd arrived on Atlantis and met Tony.

His guy was over six feet tall with curly, short dark hair that was closely cropped to his head. His eyes were chocolate brown and he was always clean shaven. Neatness was something that Tony had learned in the military and it had seemed to stick.

Tony had been the only guy that Evan had ever fallen for, there had been a first love back when he was sixteen but nothing even came close to what he had thought he had with Tony in the beginning. The other man had whisked him off his feet when they had first met. He was fierce and smart, dedicated to his job as a field medic. He had been military trained and had stuck with it over the years. It was clear they had sexual tension from a private sparring session they had had on the mat. It had ended with rough passionate kisses and deviant touches.

After that Lorne had taken it upon himself to avoid Tony, he didn't want a relationship and things on Atlantis were already complicated enough dealing with aliens and all the crazy situations they got themselves into. Yet Tony kept turning up, gradually winning him over a little at a time.

It had started with dessert after a rough day, the other man had noticed that whenever he was stressed Lorne seemed to eat sweet things and favoured a certain type of chocolate not available in their ration packs. That was the start of something, it showed Lorne that there was someone out there who was willing to give something and at the time it was exactly what he had needed after Cassandra had gone missing.

Those days had been so infuriating, the woman had been part of his team and it made him sick to think of her trapped in the hands of that psychotic half breed. He despised how helpless that made him feel and he knew that whatever he must have been feeling must have been even worse for Sheppard, who had spent his time prowling around the Gate Room waiting for news of any sort.

It was the night he had killed the clone that things had changed for him and Tony, that man had been working his way through Lorne's defences since day one and that night when Tony had turned up at his quarters he had been powerless to stop what was happening between them. He needed the comfort that could be sought from the arms of another. After seeing the way Sheppard dealt with his wife's trauma Lorne was faced with a truth that was both damning and haunting.

Major Evan Lorne was lonely. He had never thought himself the type of person who needed a significant other, he was used to being independent and most of the time he liked it but at that point he had been vulnerable and Tony had gotten through that tiny chink in his armour.

The first two months had been good, their relationship was kept strictly between them and Lorne had to admit it was good to mean more to somebody than just a fuckbuddy. Yet he had to admit there had been downsides, sometimes the sex was a little too rough for his tastes but he kept at it because that was what Tony liked even though sometimes it hurt like hell. He liked feeling wanted by someone else and Tony was always telling him how much he needed Lorne in his life. It made Lorne feel special and cared for to hear words like that and Tony's gestures were always affectionate despite the fact he found them a little too possessive for his liking.

The relationship had become too much, he was starting to feel stifled by Tony's constant need for attention. The man was stressed all the time because of the increasing pressure brought on by Cass's absence. There were more teams in rotation than before and it would be a while before the newbies that Beckett had selected would come aboard the floating city.

It had started with Tony grabbing his collar and shaking him, the other man had been screaming in his face over a mistake that had been made. Lorne had been so surprised the thought of untangling himself from Tony's grasp had never occurred to him.

When his head had hit the wall behind him he had seen stars and yet again it was like another switch had been flipped inside of Tony. His sensitive instincts had flipped into overdrive and Lorne had found himself dazed and confused cradled in his lover's arms listening to him apologize profusely.

There had been sincerity in his lover's voice and Lorne had reasoned with himself that sometimes he too felt like lashing out, he didn't blame Tony for his outburst and they had made up in an almost violent way.

The second time had been worse than the first and it always stuck in his mind how much it had hurt when the two of them had 'reacquainted'. He knew this couldn't be love, people that loved one another didn't lash out like this, they wouldn't tell you to 'be a man' while they took their own pleasure from your body. He had tried to call it quits but Tony had threatened him with exposure if he ever tried to leave.

_How would your team mates respond to knowing their leader was a fag?_ He had sneered cruelly.

It begged the question. One of his other friends had come out a few years ago and it had gotten real ugly, he had left the service in the end. Lorne couldn't do that, the military was his life. It was the path he had always wanted to take and he was making his mother proud following in his father's footsteps.

The feeling of entrapment was killing him, his stomach was constantly in knots whenever Tony summoned him to his quarters. The thought of the other man's hands touching him made his skin crawl but it was a small price to pay for keeping his home here and his career safe. Lorne ground his teeth together, his jaw aching from clenching it so hard.

Lorne wished Hope was here, or Cassandra, he could talk to them maybe work out some way out of this mess if they mediated between him and Sheppard. He was terrified of going to his Commanding Officer with this problem. Sheppard was as manly as they came and the two of them bonded over football and their past missions, he couldn't stand to see the disgust in the other man's eyes if he had admitted he was a homosexual or a victim.

"Evan?" Beckett's voice brought him back to the present and Lorne found himself staring into concerned blue eyes.

It made his chest ache just a little to see that caring expression on Beckett's face. The Doc had such a huge heart when it came to other people and it made him want to open his mouth and pour his whole heart out to Beckett. There was something about the other man that generated comfort.

Beckett's hand came to rest lightly on Lorne's shoulder, Lorne flinched at the warm gesture leading Beckett to draw away with further acknowledgement. He knew that there was more to Lorne than met the eye and he could feel that steely determination raising up inside of him as the pieces suddenly slipped into place.

Lorne was already raising to his feet, his back straightening and his posture becoming more rigid as his gaze fixed on something in the door way. Beckett could see the change in Lorne's demeanour almost instantly, Beckett glanced over his shoulder to see Anthony Castanza lingering in the open archway. His thumbs were hooked into the belt loops of his uniform as he and Lorne stared at one another in silence before a wide grin spread across Castanza's features as he stepped into the room.

"You all done Doc?" he asked, turning his head towards Beckett. "Lorne and I wanted to hit the gym."

Lorne's pallor was already turning pale at the prospect and Beckett filed away that tiny shred of information adding to the collection he was building. The picture was becoming clear now and he didn't like the image he was seeing.

"Actually, I have a few more tests to run." Beckett informed his field medic with a dismissive tone as he rose to his feet, his hand grasping the bright blue curtain for the medical bay. "So if you excuse us..."

Beckett drew the curtain around the confined space effectively shielding Lorne from Castanza's penetrating gaze. There was a second of silence as Lorne and Beckett stood stock still listening for the other man's footsteps as he retreated from the room. It was a brief reprieve but it bought Lorne a little time before he decided what the hell he was going to do.


	8. Chapter 8: Sick

Chapter Eight: Sick

**This was just one of the ways I was thinking about taking Cass's flu chapter!**

John Sheppard had never been so happy to see his pretty little wife curled up in bed, tissues clutched in her tiny fist. Her pale skin looked sallow as she glared at her husband through exhausted sapphire eyes. Her hair was loose and cascaded own her shoulders in waves as she cuddled the covers even closer to her shivering form.

"How are you not sick?" Cass questioned her husband as grabbed his flak jacket off the back of the bedroom door and pulled it on over his muscular shoulders.

"I don't hang around sick people?" John suggested with that familiar teasing smile.

"And why are you so cheerful?" Cass complained, glowering at her husband's happy mood.

"That is also because I'm not the one that's sick." John reminded her, leaning in close until they were face to face.

"You come any closer and that's going to change." Cass informed her husband.

John placed a kiss on his wife's head. He was glad that she was sick but the poor woman needed rest.


	9. Chapter 9: Mission Reports

Chapter Nine: Mission Reports

**This was also another bash at the flu scene between John and Cass. I was thinking that Cass is kinda like John off world and since John reads all the mission reports, he finds out everything. **

To John Sheppard's immense surprise Cass was up when he stepped into their shared apartment. His pretty young wife was bundled up in his thickest jumper and baggy sweats. Her hair was pulled back into a messy bun and the T.V was on playing what looked like the middle of Monsters Inc. Pixar films were Cass's go to when she was feeling like crap, John thought something about the bright colours and the happy stories seemed to sooth his wife and capture her attention. Saying that after his death at the hands of Michael there was a reason that the two of them didn't watch Up.

If John ever lost Cassandra he envisioned himself becoming that lonely stubborn old man and it chilled him right down to his core.

"Hey, your looking a lot better." John said as he balanced the bowl of chicken soup in his left hand and the sachet of cracks in the right.

"I think I've managed to sleep some of it off." Cassandra told her husband. "Although I also think whatever cold medicine Carson gave really worked some wonders."

"You hungry?" John asked putting the bowl on the table and pushing it towards her with his finger tips.

"A little." Cass said inhaling the smell deeply in an attempt to entice her unsettled stomach. "I still feel queasy."

"At least try and eat something." John uttered doing puppy dog eyes. "Please for me."

Cass lips quirked up into a smile as she raised the spoon to her mouth and drank some of the warm liquid.

"Your going to sit here and watch me eat aren't you?" Cass queried as John opened the packet of crackers placed them besides her bowl.

"It brings me piece of mind." John confirmed.

"Your not eating?" Cass questioned her husband.

"I grabbed a turkey sub while I was doing some of the paperwork." John explained, leaning back on the couch, his arm coming to rest just behind Cassandra.

"Did you read something interesting?" Cass said a little bit too innocently.

John cleared his throat before bowing his head and pursing his lips together.

"You don't want to go there." John informed her, expressing his displeasure at her latest escapades.

The man in him wanted to ream her out so badly for what she had done back on that planet but the Colonel in him wanted to applaud her. She had acted accordingly with military protocol and gone above and beyond the call of duty the same way he would have. It caused a war inside of him, one that he wasn't wiling to face. It meant confronting the fact that his wife was as much as a soldier as he was.

"Yea." Cass agreed. "I thought not."

"Sometimes I think we have to be two different people." John uttered.

"Work Cass and play Cass?" she pondered thinking about her doctor alterego.

"Yea, like Colonel Sheppard and John. Colonel Sheppard respects what you did whilst John wants to shield you away from the world." John found himself confessing.

It was hard being two people but when John looked at his wife he thought it was entirely worth it.


	10. Chapter 10: Sweet Dreams

Chapter Ten: Sweet Dreams

**Basically a little moment after the Hoffian break out. **

It was late when Cassie turned up at his quarters, it didn't matter because John had been barely able to sleep anyway. His thoughts were on today and the situations with the Hoffian when he answered the door. His hair was mused up from a fractured sleep, his face was looked tough as he squinted at her from the darkness of his room.

"Can I come in?" Cassie requested taking in his sweats and Vampire Panda teshirt.

John stepped aside allowing her entrance. The strain was evident on her pretty features as she breezed past him. He hated seeing that expression on her face but he didn't blame her for feeling the way that she did.

"You ok?" he asked her quietly as she came to stand beside his bed indecisively.

"Yea, yea I'm fine." she said running her hands through her silky dark hair, pushing it back away from her pale skin.

John could see from the darkness that haunted her eyes that she was anything but fine.

"You?" she questioned, her mouth set in a grim line.

Those vibrant sapphire eyes were filled with woe as she stared at him sadly.

"I've been better." John admitted as he pulled back the quilt before climbing into bed.

"Cassie." he murmured, his hazel eyes upon her as he tapped the space beside of him. "Come to bed."

Cass obeyed, curling up along side him, before John covered up both of their bodies with the sheet. The bed was small but ample and John liked the fact that it brought them even closer together. John wrapped his arms around her lithe figure creating a security that Cass had only felt with him. He felt her muscles beginning to unfurl and relax under the heat of his skin as he buried his nose into the hallow of her neck.

"Sweet dreams." he whispered with a kiss.


	11. Chapter 11: The Big Reveal

Chapter Eleven: The Big Reveal

**So when I first started this story I was trying to figure out a way in which their relationship would become public. This was one of the possibilities I considered. **

Doctor Weir's office had never been such a terrifying place before. Cass's fingertips were tapping out a tune on the arm of her chair nervously. It was a habit that she only indulged in when she was extremely anxious. The full weight of Elizabeth's gaze was pressing down upon Cassandra as she sat there with her back straight and rigid. Their leader hadn't spoke for over a minute now and Cass found that alarming.

John reached out, his warm hand encasing her delicate one in order to silence the noise that was echoing through the confined area.

"You should stop that." he told her lightly, that familiar wolfish smile spreading across his handsome features.

Cass allowed her lover to lace his fingers with her before she rose her head and faced Elizabeth's stare head on. Now wasn't the time to shy away from this situation. If Elizabeth didn't like what was going on between them she could order them to stop, if they had to fight for their relationship then Cass would do that.

"What am I supposed to do about this?" Elizabeth said finally, gesturing at their interlinked fingers.

"We don't expect you to do anything." John informed her directly. "Hypothetically we've already had this conversation and you said there wasn't a thing you could do about it."

Cass wasn't surprised at John's revelation. She knew that her lover would not have gone into this half heartedly. They had been serious about each other for a while now and it was time for them to reveal their relationship.

"To be fair at the time I didn't realize we were talking about the two of you since the conversation was of course, hypothetical." Elizabeth reminded John.

"And hypothetically your hands are tied. I'm not Cass's commanding officer, there's no abuse of power here." John explained his points logically. "So you should let us go on the way we have been doing."

"What about your jobs, have you thought about how your relationship will effect them?" Elizabeth prompted seriously.

"It hasn't so far." Cass submitted into the conversation. "We've worked seven missions together over the past three months and not once has our relationship compromised our jobs."

"She didn't even freak out when the bug thing got me." John said, pointing at the small white scar etched just above his jugular.

Weir quirked an eyebrow at Cassandra as her cheeks flushed with colour at John's phrasing.

"I was concerned." Cass admitted. "But I did my job accordingly."

Elizabeth Weir couldn't argue with that.


End file.
